How to Avoid Ego Traps

25 January 2021 Mindset

Egoti “The first product of self-knowledge is humility.” – Flannery O’Connor

 How would your life be different if you didn’t care about what others thought about you?

All of your actions stem from one of two basic emotions:


Let’s start with fear. Fear is the favorite weapon of the ego and it’s tying your well-being to what other people say or do. When you depend on other people to tell you whether you are winning or not, you give away all of your power. If your wellbeing is dependent on outside forces, you make yourself a victim by default. An unhealthy ego will mask fear with a variety of other weapons including; pride, guilt, shame, apathy, and more. All of these emotions render you powerless once you accept them as yours. Think about it, anytime pride is involved, the ego is driving and it looks like you thinking you’re better than you actually are.

Your ego disconnects you from all your power by it’s insistence to know everything. If we think we know then we don’t work to understand. Unless you understand you will never have access to the highest knowledge available. A lack of self-awareness is fertile ground for the ego to run rampant. Lacking the ability to examine yourself, you will reinvest your energy into exactly the same patterns of behavior that caused your problems. This is letting stubbornness make a bad situation worse.

Ego traps:

Privately thinking you’re better than someone else…or better than you actually are. Which is frustrating internally because you know you’re just scared.

By removing the ego—even temporarily— We get a view of what’s really going on.

By widening your perspective, more comes into view.

With humility comes grace. For ourselves and for others.

With grace, peace is the natural by-product. When you find peace, this is the place where you create your best work.

How to find Peace?

Your solution starts with Humility. What is rare is not raw talent, skill, or even confidence, rare is a person with humility, and self-awareness. Do you know how you can tell when someone is truly humble? They see the good and value in other people and their ideas. As a coach one of the most common failure points I see in people’s lives is start/stops and falling off in the plateaus. At the beginning of any path, we’re excited and nervous. Humility pushes you through the plateau. Humility is what keeps us there, concerned that we don’t know enough, and that we must continue to grow.

The ego is a tyrant that demands we receive attention. We get ourselves into trouble when we seek to comfort ourselves.. externally instead of inwardly. If you crave praise and recognition from others you are making yourself a victim of their likes and dislikes.

 A better way…Self-Validate instead!


There’s a weak side to each of us, that isn’t exactly malicious. At the end of the day still wants to get as much public credit and attention as it can for doing the least. That side we call ego.

This is what the ego does…

It takes out what matters and replaces it with what doesn’t… Love is an intentional focus to stay connected to the whole. Humility keeps you in creation. Creativity is a matter of receptiveness and recognition. You can’t be open and receptive if you’re convinced the world revolves around you. Remember, ego means “tying your well-being to what other people say or do”.

Instead, do this…

Start with loving yourself relentlessly and sharing the overflow of love with the Universe. Anytime you feel fear creeping in, ask yourself…

 If I truly loved myself would I think this way?

 Simple…not easy:)

All the love, KK